World Elder Abuse Day

                                                                                                    

Helena S. Mock, Esq. 

Did you know that there is a whole day dedicated to the issue of Elder Abuse?  I find this an extremely sad state of affairs that we, not just Americans, but all members of the world’s population feel the need to address issues of abuse, neglect and financial exploitation of the elderly, which is a problem that is expanding exponentially within all societies.  It is estimated that each year over 5 million older adults are abused, neglected, or exploited.

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day (WEAAD) is June 15^th.  WEAAD was launched in 2016 by the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse and the World Health Organization at the United Nations with a purpose of providing an opportunity for communities around the world to promote a better understanding of the potential for abuse and neglect of older persons and to raise awareness of the cultural, social, economic and demographic processes affecting elder abuse and neglect.

Last year, I had the privilege of being part of a workgroup established by the Virginia Department for Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS) pursuant to House Bill 676.  DARS was delegated the responsibility of evaluating the problems of elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation within the Commonwealth and making recommendations to facilitate improvements.  Their report is published http://leg2.state.va.us/DLS/h&sdocs.nsf/5c7ff392dd0ce64d85256ec400674ecb/308d6d4cfc756d1085257fb70061bf45?OpenDocument&Highlight=0,aging, and is interesting, albeit sad, reading.  Upon review of state Adult Protective Services (APS) data compiled during fiscal year 2015, the records revealed Virginia victims lost an estimated $28,226,512 in that fiscal year alone.

As part of its mission, WEAAD provides information on recognizing and preventing abuse as well as protecting yourself from abuse.  Additional information can be obtained by visiting the University of Southern California’s Center on Elder Mistreatment at  http://eldermistreatment.usc.edu/.  Make a commitment to take some action this June 15th to help yourself or someone else, or even to just get more educated.  Every small step gets us closer to making the future brighter for all seniors.

Live What You Love

                                                                                 

Jodi B., Paralegal 

Life. Sometimes it’s so sweet and I wish I could bottle up the sweetness and savor it forever. Moments like the little voice from the backseat saying “I love you” unexpectedly and watching the dark eyelashes of the slumbering angel take peaceful breaths. And sometimes life is just plain sour and I’m glad time will ease the bitter sting.  But most of the time, my life seems to exist between the sweet and sour moments and it is lived in the everyday hassle and hurry.  It’s so easy to live and forget to love.  Easier to tie the shoe than to teach to tie.  Easier to say no than to think perhaps yes.  Easier to live than to love.  Easier still to forget to dream.

Working in estate and trust administration, the end of life is on my desk every day as I help others wrap up their late loved ones affairs.  But as I help them navigate unfamiliar waters, it feels good to help. And often times, my work helps remind me to not just live, but to live what I love.

Eighteen- More Than Just a Number

                                                                                                            

Madeline Calthorpe 

18 is far more than just a number.  It is a symbol of transition.  Finally, after years of waiting, you are no longer a child.  Nights of rushing home to make 12 am curfew are over and freedom has never tasted so sweet.  In a few months, it will be time to head off to college, allowing you to truly test out this new thing called adulthood.  What you may not realize, however, is that 18 is also the year when your parents can no longer make health care decisions on your behalf. 

So, what exactly does this mean?  Should you be worried?  Well, let’s say you and your friends have decided to spend your Spring Break in the mountains.  A week of skiing, relaxing by the fire, and thinking about anything other than school—what could be better?  Unfortunately, things don’t go quite as planned and you end up in the hospital after the first hour on the slopes.  Your friends call your parents in a frenzy, but when your parents call the hospital they are unable to get any information.  Despite the fact that they’re your parents, you’re an adult and, in effect, sharing your information would be a privacy concern.  I know what you’re thinking, what’s the big deal?  It’s probably just a broken leg.  I’ll call my parents when I get out of the hospital.  But what if it wasn’t just a broken leg?  What if you were unconscious?  Wouldn’t you want your parents by your side supporting you and helping to make important medical decisions?

Luckily, there is a solution: a medical power of attorney.  Contrary to belief, this document is not only for aging parents, but is important for young adults too.  By signing a medical power of attorney, you are giving your parents, or another adult of your choice, the ability to act in your place.  Had you been unconscious after that accident, they could have told the doctors what steps to take. 

Here at The Peninsula Center, we offer a College Power Pack, which includes a Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, and HIPPA form.  Five years ago, when I said goodbye to my parents as they dropped me off for my freshman year, I would never have thought to sign these documents.  Now, I would sign them in a heartbeat. 

You may be an adult, but that doesn’t make you invincible.  The world is full of unexpecteds, but you don’t have to be alone when they pop up.  On your eighteenth birthday, rather than rushing out and buying a lottery ticket, call and set up an appointment to sign a medical power of attorney.  Leaving for college is stressful enough; give yourself peace of mind by knowing that you are in good hands.            

New Rules Aimed to Protect Senior Investors

Erin A. Smith, Esq. 

The financial exploitation of elderly investors is becoming a major problem in our country. In order to address this growing trend, the Securities and Exchange Commission (the “SEC”) adopted new rules, effective February 2018, to allow members of banks to act if they have a reasonable belief that a client is being financially exploited. The rules were proposed by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (“FINRA”) due to this growing need. Currently, there is little a financial institution can do to protect their investors from this sort of abuse. The new guidelines allow the following:

    FINRA Rule 2165 allows a member who has a reasonable belief that a client is being financially exploited to put a hold on that customer’s disbursements of their accounts and/or securities. This is not a requirement, but it does allow the member to have discretion and to put a temporary hold on funds when there is a concern.

    FINRA Rule 4512 requires a member to make reasonable efforts to obtain the name of and contact information for a trusted person for a customer’s account. The member must ask the client for a trusted contact when they open an account. The trusted person can provide input as to the customer’s health situation, confirm specifics of customer’s contact information, report concerns regarding financial exploitation, and identify a legal guardian, trustee, executor, agent for the client.

It may not be the perfect solution, but certainly a step in the right direction. It is helpful to have a trusted person to contact in the event that there is a concern. However, they have limited power to protect the assets and can really only provide information.

The best way to protect yourself and your loved ones from financial exploitation is to plan ahead. A comprehensive durable power of attorney and a revocable living trust can provide more protection for you and/or your aging family members from becoming victims of this type of abuse.

It's OK to Grieve

Barbara K. Armstrong, Paralegal

Working for an estate planning firm can be very rewarding as you interact with your clients and their families, whether it is finalizing their estate planning documents or helping a family begin the process of administering a loved one’s estate.  For the latter, every family is different.  I have spoken to some families who want to get the administration process started right away, and I tell them to slow down.  There is nothing that needs to be done right away.  Take care of the final arrangements and give yourself some time to grieve.

Grief is a natural response to loss.  It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away.  The more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.  You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one – which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief – but any loss can cause grief.

In a conversation with one of our clients, she mentioned how much she missed her husband.  He had always been her rock and they were such a team.  Her husband is still alive.  He has been suffering with Alzheimer’s and she had to move him to a memory care unit.  Even though her husband is still alive, she has lost the man she married as though he has died.

Most recently, an old friend of mine lost her son.  Unfortunately, it was due to an overdose.  She told me that at first everyone was supportive, but in the weeks that followed, she was told to “suck it up” or that “he did it to himself” and that she should move on.  I cannot imagine telling a grieving mother anything other than “There is no time-frame for grieving.  It is a process.”   Listen and give someone who is grieving your ear as you would hope someone would for you when you experience a loss. 

Eventually, you will move on.  Moving on means that you've accepted your loss, but that's not the same as forgetting.  You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you.  In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining us as the people we are.

Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things.  If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing.

It's Good to Unplug

Teresa M. Clemons, Office Manager

I am sure you have heard that when a lamp, phone charger, toaster oven, or any electrical device is plugged into the receptacle, it is using energy – even if it is not in use.  Same thing with iPhones, iPads, and laptops.  Even when you are not using them, but they are within earshot, hands-reach, or you can see that bright colorful screen, it using YOUR energy.  And just as importantly, your valuable time.

I am not one to walk around with my phone at all times.  So, when I do not have it, I do not feel that I am missing an appendage, like some people I know.  I arrived back home mid-morning from church. It was Easter Sunday morning.  I left my purse in the car, which is where I usually keep my phone.  I had a wonderfully peaceful day with family and friends.  The celebration was over, my guests left around 7:30, and I began to clean up.  After everything was back in order and I began to prepare for Monday morning, I realized I did not have my phone and must have left it in the car.  Yes, there were many text messages with greetings for a Happy Easter, I had missed a call or two, and no, I did not know all the latest on Facebook updates.  But, what I did have was a day of uninterrupted time with my family and friends.  An immediate response does not mean that I do not care or respect the callers and the others who took the time to text me their warm wishes, but it gave me a day with my undivided attention belonging to the people who were with me in person.

I witness people who actually pause when they hear the “ding” or feel the vibration of their phone.  Even though they may not respond at that moment – which many people do – the curiosity of
wanting to know who is texting them is in their mind, bouncing around.  You can see it in people’s faces.  They are looking right at you, but they are not really paying attention to what you are saying because they are wondering what they are missing.  At least, that’s how it seems to me.

So “unplug” every once in a while, and enjoy the moment that you are in!

Marriage and Aging

Cathy Sears, Law Clerk

                                                             

My husband and I got married in August and are still in the obnoxiously happy, rarely-spend-time-apart-from-each-other phase of our relationship.  Life as a newlywed is good.

With marriage so much on my mind in recent months, I was surprised when I recently realized that I had never really thought about accommodations for married couples in assisted living facilities or nursing homes.  Yes, I know what I got myself into when I vowed to love my husband “all the days of my life,” but I hadn’t really thought about where our later days might be spent.  Cancer and divorce kept me from growing up with a “complete” set of grandparents, so I’ve really only been exposed to the challenges of aging alone, not as a couple.  Additionally, in my Elder Law classes in law school, I’ve learned about Medicaid planning techniques that are utilized when one spouse needs facility-based care and the other spouse is still able to live at home.  Here too, the assumption is that circumstances will result in the couple living apart from each other.

Obviously, that’s not exactly the scenario that I’d like for my hubby and me.  Granted, I’m sure someday we’ll relish spending time away from each other.  Even now, I recognize – in theory – that it made little sense for both of us to bundle up and brave frigid January weather to buy a few groceries when one of us could have stayed cozily at home.  Still, call me naïve, but I can’t help but think that, despite his snoring, I’ll always want to live with him!

Fortunately, I’m not the only helpless romantic who feels this way.  I recently visited a few local assisted living facilities as part of my job and learned more about accommodations that can be made for married couples who seek facility care together.  For example, a facility may offer rooms spacious enough to fit a double bed and two dressers, and it may use a specially-tailored billing structure for a couple instead of simply doubling the fees for a single resident.  Many facilities also offer a variety of different care options, ranging from independent living or assisted living all the way up to skilled nursing care and memory care, which allows spouses who may have very different diagnoses to continue living together as long as possible.

One marketing director told me about a couple who recently celebrated their 71^st wedding anniversary in their assisted living facility, complete with a private candle-lit dinner that the staff arranged for them.  Another resident and her husband had been living in the community together until he passed away.  At this difficult time, she was surrounded by people she knew – many of whom had also experienced a similar loss – who served as a great support system for her and helped keep her from being too lonely in her time of mourning.

The moral of the story?  You may be stuck with me longer than you bargained for, hubby dear.