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| Leslie Salvo Paralegal |
I have worked in the area of elder law and estate planning
for many years, but until the last 3 years, my perspective of having a parent
with dementia was shaped only through clients’ stories. And then it hit home. Just before my father died, he and I were
having a conversation about how we were going to take care of him once he came
home from the hospital. He was quick to
tell me he was not worried about himself but was concerned about my
mother. He said “something isn’t right,
she can’t cook things like she did before”.
While that seems like a simple (and maybe silly) thing for him to say,
it spoke volumes to me. My mom had
always been a good cook. Sadly, my dad
did not live very long after his discharge, and I had moved home to take care
of him. Since I was now living with my
mom, it didn’t take long for me to see that Daddy had been correct – something
wasn’t right. After a visit to a
neurologist and some follow up tests, we had the diagnosis of dementia, likely of
the Alzheimer’s type. My sisters and I were devastated. And now, I have the
first hand experience of watching my mother slip away from us piece by
piece. My mother was always smart,
witty, and kind. Every once in a while,
she will say something funny and it catches me off guard. For a minute, I think “Mom’s back” but sadly,
it’s just a glimpse of her old self. I hope that through this personal
experience with my mom, I will be better able to help our clients. At least, I have now walked in those shoes.
I am thankful that my parents listened to me years ago when
I asked them to get all of their estate planning documents in order, purchase
long term care insurance, and pre-plan their funeral arrangements. Working in this area of law has taught me a lot.They did all of that and thus, have made the events of the last few
years a little easier to navigate. I
encourage everyone, young(ish) and old, to make things a little easier for your
loved ones to handle the aging process by getting your legal affairs in order. It doesn’t bring your loved one back or make
the disease progression go away, but in a small way, it helps. It’s one less stressor for the caretaker(s)
and believe me, that can make a big difference.
