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| Barbara K. Armstrong, Paralegal |
Working for an estate planning firm can be very rewarding
as you interact with your clients and their families, whether it is finalizing
their estate planning documents or helping a family begin the process of administering
a loved one’s estate. For the latter,
every family is different. I have spoken
to some families who want to get the administration process started right away, and I tell them to slow down. There is nothing that needs to be done right
away. Take care of the final arrangements
and give yourself some time to grieve.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when
something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more
intense your grief will be. You may
associate grieving with the death of a loved one – which is often the cause of
the most intense type of grief – but any loss can cause grief.
In a conversation with one of our clients, she mentioned
how much she missed her husband. He had
always been her rock and they were such a team.
Her husband is still alive. He
has been suffering with Alzheimer’s and she had to move him to a memory care
unit. Even though her husband is still
alive, she has lost the man she married as though he has died.
Most recently, an old friend of mine lost her son. Unfortunately, it was due to an
overdose. She told me that at first
everyone was supportive, but in the weeks that followed, she was told to “suck
it up” or that “he did it to himself” and that she should move on. I cannot imagine telling a grieving mother
anything other than “There is no time-frame for grieving. It is a process.” Listen and give someone who is grieving your
ear as you would hope someone would for you when you experience a loss.
Eventually, you will move on. Moving on means that you've accepted your loss, but that's not
the same as forgetting. You can move on
with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an
important part of you. In fact, as we
move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining
us as the people we are.
Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel
ashamed about how you feel or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to
grieve for certain things. If the
person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal
to grieve the loss you’re experiencing.
